The Reading Palette

‘A compelling summer read not to be missed.’- OK!

I have rarely met a person (especially a woman) who wasn’t at some point have been concerned about how they look. Whether it was their weight, or age, or skin color, there was always something to worry about. It is definitely a sign of a lack of confidence but more than that, it is about how society has pushed unachievable standards onto women’s bodies. Skinny but also curvy, fuller lips, thick thighs, hourglass figure, you name it. The list is endless. And if you are over forty, the damage is irreparable.

Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty is a book that deals with motherhood, female friendships, marriage and domestic abuse. It is centered on women. These women all have different lives and stories but as you delve deeper into the complexities of the novel, you realize that perhaps neither of them are as different as they think they are.

The book focuses on the lives of five women. They are all school-mums, their kids have started kindergarten and they all reside in the beach town of Pirriwee. Jane, a single mother, seems to be the locus of the story. She has a five-year old son called Ziggy, who she absolutely adores. She confesses to her good friend, Madeline that Ziggy was the result of a sexual assault that happened to her when she was 19. She did not know anything about the father except his name. The man who assaulted her called her ‘fat’ and ‘ugly.’ She resents the fact that she felt more disturbed by those words than about what he did to her physically. She regrets that she let those words define her life.

“You’re just a fat, ugly little girl, aren’t you? With your cheap jewellery and your trashy dress. Your breath is disgusting, by the way. Need to learn some dental hygiene. Jesus. Never had an original thought in your life, have you? Want a tip? You’ve got to respect yourself a bit more. Lose that weight. Join a gym, for fuck’s sake. Stop the junk food. You’ll never be beautiful but at least you won’t be fat.”

In the aftermath, she stopped enjoying food and developed a compulsive habit of always chewing gum (because of her breath). Those few moments with that man in a hotel room changed her life and how looks at it. Why was a stranger able to assert so much influence on her? Why was he successful in changing her? These questions do not let her rest. Every time she ate, she felt like someone was watching her and was disgusted the way she was filling her mouth. It led to her eating disorder and unhealthy relationship with food.

What everyone wants everyone else to believe is that the words ‘fat’ and ‘ugly’ complement each other. If you are fat, you cannot be beautiful. But if you are slim, that doesn’t count for much either because you need to be fat in all the right places. That’s not all. Turns out, if you actually are beautiful, even then you can’t catch a break.

Celeste, Jane’s other best friend, is the most beautiful woman one will ever see. But she’s not happy. Her beauty has not worked in her favour.

“Once, when she’d been at uni, she’d been in a great mood, and she’d bounced into her tutorial and sat next to a girl called Linda.

‘Morning!’ she’d said.

An expression of comical display crossed Linda’s face.

‘Oh Celeste,’ she’d moaned. ‘I just can’t handle you today. Not when I’m feeling like shit and you waltz in here looking like, you know, like that. She waved her hand at Celeste’s face, as if at something disgusting.

The girls around them had exploded with joyous laughter, as if something hilarious and subversive had finally been said out loud. They laughed and laughed, and Celeste had smiled stiffly, idiotically, because how could you possibly respond to that? It felt like a slap, but she had to respond like it was a compliment. You had to be grateful. Don’t ever look too happy, she told herself. It’s aggravating.

Grateful, grateful, grateful.”

A woman as beautiful as Celeste can’t get societal approval. Her beauty does not please, it threatens. It threatens the fragile egos of other not so beautiful girls. Her beauty becomes oppressive. She is treated differently, and not in a good way. People expect her to be grateful. So her beauty does not give her any advantage. Not to mention that her husband Perry, an equally handsome and rich man, brutally abuses her. She lives in a constant state of terror. However, she refuses to leave as her life is seemingly perfect otherwise. What can a rich and beautiful woman complain about?

If you think it’s only beauty that determines how women are perceived, hold your horses, because the clock is forever ticking. Madeline, Jane’s confidant, turns forty in the beginning of the book and she does not feel comfortable. She muses that a forty-year old’s life is not as relevant as that of a twenty-year old. Jane observes that middle-aged women are obsessed with the topic of ageing. It’s one of the reasons why Madeline hates the young new wife of her ex-husband. Bonnie is young and bohemian while Madeline is old and glittery. It won’t look like that but Bonnie comes with her own share of emotional trauma which she tries hard not to make obvious. Why is it that ageing is always a negative thing when as you get older, you only gain new experiences and more often than not, become smarter?

The battle is not over yet. Apart from the concerns of beauty, weight, and age, some of the women also have to deal with the bias associated with being a full-time mom or a career-oriented woman. Renata Klien, Madeline’s archnemesis has a successful career and everything is not so easy for her. Her daughter is getting bullied at school and she is not telling who it is. Her husband does not prove to be much of a help.

Liane Moriarty’s book is much more complex than it appears. More so as it ends with a murder of one of the school parents. It’s an exciting thriller. Her book has been brilliantly adapted into a TV series of the same name starring Nicole Kidman as Celeste, Reese Witherspoon as Madeline and Shailene Woodley as Jane. What’s great about Moriarty’s book is that every character is likeable. Except Perry. If Alexander Skarsgard can’t make you like a character, nothing can.

If you haven’t watched the series yet, you must. If you have, then let me know your views about it in the comment section.

Do you think it’s fair that women are constantly burdened by these exaggerated ideals that fail to bear a resemblance to a real, unfiltered woman? And it’s not only women, everyone including men have to bear the brunt of society’s unjust expectations. How do you think can we make a society that is more accepting of a person, their flaws and virtues alike? Let me know in the comments.